


Of Life and Death

by amansi_cal



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-11
Updated: 2019-06-03
Packaged: 2019-09-16 08:08:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16950240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amansi_cal/pseuds/amansi_cal
Summary: One seeks life to die and another seeks death to live. Together, they find what they have lost, under the twilight stars, through a journey in the evergreen.





	1. Dusk and Dawn

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lluviadinoche](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lluviadinoche/gifts).



At lonely nights, when the dreary, sleepless daze hangs over my head like Damocles’ sword, the thatched ceiling turns into a horizon painted in a dreamy lilaceous hue. The ever steady, falling ashen snow whisks me, far, so far away from where I lie awake. To that one cold dusk, when autumn started to wither away into winter, I could remember the remnants of the dying embers brought by fiery flames that mixed with the dying light of that unforgettable afternoon.

The catalyst, as I’d like to call it, was both the end and the beginning of Lovino. He became more than a name cursed with ruinous nature, no – He became worse. He became a flame who kindled under the cataclysmic fallout that his calloused hands, tainted with cinders and spilled blood, ravaged upon touch.

I lost everything that dusk.

Madness, fear, grief, hatred, and the careless, happy summer days, it was all washed away along with the fading fire-torn lavender skies. Leaving nothing but that shell of a boy, no older than fourteen. A boy who shivered in his own skin, wanting to tear out of it and turn it into dust, feeling like it had become tighter, trying to suffocate him but his fingertips only brought the wet melted snow to his pale, tear-stricken face.

And before I know it, the faint light passing through the curtain-strewn window kisses me awake from my trance, and then I begin to wonder why dawn looks so damn much like dusk. I could never tell the difference until my joints ache from the uncomfortably stiff position I lay in throughout the night, reminding me that it is, indeed, daybreak and that that fateful eventide was in fact seven years ago, and not in the present where my hands are still very much calloused, but not caked with dried blood and soot.

Another wakeful night passed by, and like any other day that passed in the years, I leave my weariness under my pillow and begin preparing for the tiring journey ahead.

It's uncharacteristically warm today. The early rays of light that spilled from the thick foliage of towering trees eradicated all lingering fog, still the faintest bit of humidity remain. The cool air filled my lungs with rejuvenated life as I continue to trudge the lush woodland.

My footsteps, slightly muted by the wispy carpet of moss that covers the earthen floor, join in with the singing chorus of morning birds, perched on sprawling trees that stand like watchful guardians, silent sentinels of the grove. A pageant of smells floated in the spring air, pleasant and all the like.

Feli would have enjoyed it far more than I would have. He was always the one who appreciated the beauty of his surroundings, not me.

I’m not exactly what they call a superstitious person but I’d like to believe that my brother is out there, somewhere, with the trees or the patches of daisies in the area, hopefully happy and not hovering over my body seeking answers I don’t have.

If you’re asking what I’m doing roaming around the woods feeling all nostalgic about my dead little brother like a complete idiot, I’m going to the nearest village. Living in complete isolation has it’s ups and downs and as much as I’d like to hide myself in the cozy cottage I made for myself for the rest of my sad life, there were necessities that the surrounding forest just couldn’t provide me or lacking the skills to gain, like meat, because I suck at hunting.

So here am I, venturing out the wilderness and taking the same route to the village like I do every month, nothing new except for the occasional change in landscape. 

Halfway through the trip I decide to do something I rarely do in my previous expeditions – Take a break under the shade of a large oak tree near a small river because of the lack of sleep and more depressing thoughts about all the dead people in my life. The remaining walk is less than an hour away if I wanted to reach my destination that bad but my tired legs, aching soles and the aforementioned problems disagree. I close my eyes and catch a brief moment of rest, trying to ignore the dull aching in my stomach calling for its fill.

I was always a light sleeper so I thought maybe that’s why I catch sleepless nights often. So when I finally, finally got the sleep I desperately need, the startlingly close rustling of bushes call me back to reality. The prickling sound irking as if to poke its shrubby, thorned limbs in my ears over and over again.

To my surprise it’s not a large brown bear ready to maul me and leave my body mangled in the woods for no one to find nor is it death taking pity me and finally lifting the curse he bestowed upon me to let me reunite with my family. 

It’s a pair of vivid olive eyes that seem to illuminate under the iridescent sunlight peering from the treetops, blinking in my face curiously. That’s when I decide to rub my eyes free of drowsiness and hold a staring contest with the stranger.

"Hello" he says, voice rich and warm like the sound spilling from a violin's strings played by a prodigy, ripe like the peaches on a summer day, it's just right, not too deep nor high-pitched.

Not knowing what else to say, I echo his words.

A small smile tugs at his lips and my stomach flips over itself like a hyperactive acrobat. A sudden want to smile back takes over me before being replaced by the urge to kick the damn smile off his face. Maybe I will, maybe I won't.

I push aside the passing thought before scurrying away from the stranger's shadowing figure and pull the scarf up to my nose.

To be honest I don't know what to do. Unsheathe my knife and threaten him to leave? Talk to him? Run? Before I could make a decisive choice, the man does it for me.

"I mean no harm"

The way he delivered the words were gentle, like taming a wolf. And just like earlier I might have fallen for it if not for the glistening silver sword hanging from his waist ominously. 

I stay silent.

"I am a traveller see, a lost one. Do you perhaps know the way to Grecis? " He rubs the back of his head nervously, slowly closing the space between us.

I try to search for a sign of dishonesty in his chartreuse lambent eyes, they flicker with life and sunlight under the shade of the swaying trees. My senses betray me and decide there are none. Thankfully a part of me retains an ounce of common sense.

"If you wanted to reach Grecis why go through the forest and not through the road?"

"Unfortunate circumstances, really, I had to take a detour"

It was a short and vague story, but ruthless bandits from the north are not unheard of, it makes sense the very least. I lower my stance and beckon the unnamed man to follow me. If he had any ill intentions I have the forest to my advantage. 

As the stranger follows behind me, I could see closer of his features that I had not noticed in my panic to distance myself away from me. His skin is too tan for a northerner and lack the pale, blond skin they usually posses. Instead he has thick, wild chocolate curls that border his slightly crestfallen eyes.

The walk is silent, even as the sun set behind the faint shadow of the mountains and the sky turned into a gloomy shade of mauve. We finally see the first signs of civilization as the green thins out into stone roads with houses set alight by warm flickering lanterns. It's time we part ways.

"I never got your name"

"You don't have to, we'll never cross paths again" I reply bitterly

"I doubt that" the brunette man said with a curt smile, "Antonio Carriedo, thank you for guiding me through that god awful wilderness"

He extends a hand for me to shake. It's been awhile since someone has been this civil to me, it really is a nice change of scenery, not that it will last, but strangers tend to bring blissful ignorance with them.

"Then I suppose you should stick to the road next time" I paused, pushing the ebbing anxiety down my throat, "Lorenzo. Enjoy your stay in Grecis, Antonio" my eyes locked with his strangely captivating emerald-tinted ones one last time before I ventured deeper into the dimly, but warmly lit town, with Antonio's silhouette slowly fading in the distance. As I drift away to sleep, my thoughts stray back to my plans for the following day. 

Grecis, out of all the surrounding kingdoms outside the woodlands, is the nearest and by far the safest one I can be in. It's a small seaside kingdom with amiable inhabitants, welcoming to people of all kinds. It offers a lot of opportunities available for people passing by like me. If all goes well, I'll be staying for three more days to land myself a temporary job that can buy me what I need to last for at least a month.

However it seems like luck isn't on my side today as I've sauntered the abundantly sunlit cobblestone roads of Grecis the whole afternoon and found no opportunity to replenish the gold I've used up for lodging and whatnot. 

After I've thoroughly scoured the area, I realised that there is a subtle reason for the lack of trade and vibrancy the small town used to have. Apparently, Grecis isn't the only one suffering this state. After asking locals who were willing to talk to me, I discover news about recent disarray in the North, Gervanya, specifically, retelling about disputes over an empty throne and a halt in important trading economy as a result.

Strange, for a moment my mind wandered to that strange man I've met yesterday, didn't he mention he hailed from the north?

Maybe the bandits excuse was a legitimate one after all. People would be pillaging each other in no time without a leader to keep them all in control, just like a shepherd is to his sheep. 

I scrunch my eyebrows in annoyance; all this political nonsense makes me feel exhausted. My three days stay is officially shortened to one and a half, as I head back to my room to gather my bearings and eat one last meal before leaving for...

For where exactly?

Idelia is the next nearest kingdom, which God knows I'm never setting foot in again. Gervanya should be the next plausible place, if it hadn't fallen into a political mess infested with its own people in disarray. And it takes out everything kingdom in the west because I'd have to pass Gervanya to get anywhere beyond that, and any route taken otherwise would take me weeks on foot.

I almost rip the map, yellowed and torn at the edges in age, in frustration, and I would have if someone hadn't torn it in the middle with a dagger that clearly held the Royal Idelian insignia.

Shit.

"We meet again, Vargas"

All of my plans are thrown out of the window in which I promptly follow suite, landing on a canopy of a fruit stand in front of the inn. The vendor's complains fall deaf on my ears, my own drumming heartbeat drowning out the sounds while I flee the guards hot on my trail.

Whatever the reason behind the Idelian royal guards visit in Grecis is beyond me, and I could care less if there isn't this part of me that knows their arrival directly stems from me.

The heat of the scorching afternoon sun weaves itself with whatever panicked sense of direction I have as my feet skids across the patchy stone path in an attempt to take a sharp turn into a narrow path that I fancy hiding in.

It felt like running into a wall, but I was hell sure it wasn't a wall, walls don't have wild, rolling chocolate curls nor pools of green that stare into your soul.

"Lorenzo!"

"Wh- wha- Antonio?"

"Hello Lorenzo! Fancy running into you again"

Shit, shit shit, this is not going well.

"You look a bit in a hurry, what's wro-"

Antonio's concerns gets cut off by none other than the leader of the Idelian royal guards, I feel my blood run cold. This is it, all those six years of hiding, surviving for naught.

"Playtime's over, you have nowhere to run"

I never should have left the solace of my home; I should have learned how to fend for myself. My mind turns blank and my scarf started to fall into ashes under the grip of my hand, this is it, the day I knew would come. I'll be burned at stake for having power I never asked for. 

Life is so cruel and unfair.

I expect the guards dragging me any second now, they'll drag me all the way to Idelia and there I'll face the past I left behind.

But it never happened.

Instead a shadow cast over my figure almost like a comforting blanket, Antonio blocks the guards from approaching any further.

"I think you made a mistake sirs, this is my good friend Lorenzo, we're just travelers passing by"

"Silence boy, hand over the necromancer"

I could almost hear the northener's eyes go wide. He echoes the word ‘necromancer’ under his breath and faces me. His lips are slightly parted, eyes hidden under those thick curls. I resign to my fate; Antonio would be no different than the others. He'll step aside and hand me over without any qualms, he'll forget I ever existed.

Time seem to slow down as he take steady strides toward me. His hands soft but calloused at the fingertips, clasp my arm in a vice-like grip. I wanted to break free of his hold, but I found no strength to do so.

The colors fade away and the sounds turn mute. I dare look at the stranger's eyes, greener than any meadows, rarer than emeralds. I hear his voice, soft and hushed, over the aphasic sounds of the world

"I found you"

He looked at me like I had the sun in my eyes. His lips that were slightly parted are now pulled in a smile. Antonio's hands suddenly found its way to my hands and there he held them securely and comfortingly unlike the cold vice-like grip on my shoulders earlier.

Time went quickly as it slowed down, bringing me back to the cobblestone roads of Grecis in a sprightly pace. A grin creeps upon my lips, I live for another day.

The skies overhead paled from burning vermillion to a soft violaceous hue as our hurried footsteps diminished into nothing but faint rustles on the grass carpeted soil.

At this very moment I never felt so alive, even as I continue to draw my breath hungrily from the cool forest air and even as the sun begin to set behind the blocky outline of Grecis, dusk always has something in store for me.

Whether it's an ashen curse or a blessing with green eyes.


	2. The Hopeful and the Hopeless

"You're Lovino Vargas"

"Yes"

"Why didn't you tell me?"

I stare at him, squinting in disbelief. "I don't think you know me as much as you claim to"

For a moment, the relief on his face fall like caramel leaves swept by the autumn wind. He doesn't reply, though the lack of luster behind his eyes seem to speak on behalf of his silence. I decide to ask him something instead.

"'I found you'...you said that to me back there. What did you mean by that?"

"My friend told me about a necromancer, one strong enough to revive the dead whenever he pleases"

"The bounty comes with the rumor. I sincerely hope you're not just in for rumor, that would be quite stupid of you"

"Would you rather have me interested in the bounty instead?"

My eyes are wide in disbelief, I raise my voice "Are you serious? Why would you base your journey on something as vague as that? What would you do if it was all just that? A rumor?"

He laughs at my sudden outburst, the nerve of this man.

"You're very an interesting person Lovino, I haven't met quite anyone with such fire in their eyes"

Bewildered, I stand up and ask him what his true intentions are.

His response isn't one I expect.

"I want you to bring my friend back to life" the man says cutting off my outburst, voice slightly cracking at the mention of this 'friend'.

A cool breeze blows past us, bringing along bitter silence with it. I pull my lips in a tight line, I could not bare to shatter that blissful ignorance he brought with him.

There are two types of people I've encountered in my past years in hiding. The hopeful and the hopeless, this man being the latter.

Most of the hopeless ones bring the blissful air of ignorance with them, and while they are much better company than the overly ambitious and greedy, in the long run it always ends bitterly for both parties. Though none could ever match this one.

"Well you're here in flesh and bone and I think that's what really matters, no?"

"Sure let's say that, but what if you travelled all this way and I said no?"

"Are you saying no?"

I flinch at the speed of his reply and the eagerness exuding from it, I let out a defeated sigh. He's so frustrating, those pleading eyes and lips quivering in anticipation makes me want to give him something I never really have in the first place. My urge to choke him and tell him the truth then comfort him with a string of apologies increases with every word that comes out of his mouth.

I've never been faced with a problem like this before and quite frankly I don't know what I should do.

I said I'd think about it and asked him to leave me alone for the night.

'I don't owe him anything.'

The fire crackles softly behind me, I lay on my side trying to sleep, though that's obviously that's not going to happen, I can't even sleep properly in my own bed.

I don't owe him anything. That's obviously a lie I'm trying to make myself believe. Of course I owe him my life but I never asked him to do what he did, in fact I would never ask anyone to do that, not even myself. I completely accepted my fate a long time ago. That being said, it doesn't make me entitled to follow on his request.

A particularly loud snap from the fire momentarily breaks my thoughts. 

'You're such a selfish prick.'

A voice, locked in the farthest corners of my mind whispers from beneath the floes of my memory.

'You could always try.'

You've been cooped up in that cottage, miles away from civilization for six years, waiting, begging for a chance. Now you've found it, your chance at redemption, and you're just letting it go?

Redemption.

That word leaves a bittersweet taste in my mouth by just thinking of it.

In my earliest years in exile I convinced myself that redemption would be the only thing that will bring my disturbed mind to rest, the only thing that will allow me to sleep at night without waking from nightmares of ash and snow, oranges in lavender, or allow me to get any sleep at all. 

I'm no fairytale character, not every story has a happy ending in reality and soon enough I came to face the truth. What kind of redemption would I be allowed to have if my power only brings destruction and death? If my tongue is poisoned and thorned? Or my will weak and frail to fight the demons no one could see?

I kept being hopeful of course, it became my sole drive to keep on living the life I have I could not end, surviving with the burden of guilt for two, three years until it became so repetitive it hurt my ears without hearing the words out loud. It felt like the broken strings of a violin that kept playing the same tune over and over again until it just became a dull, irritating noise echoing in my head.

The sound was deafening so I decided to stop, cut the strings and threw away the bow. Being in this predicament brings back its nostalgic lull. Beckoning me, tempting me again to give in to the naïve idea of redemption.

What's different this time? Why don't I just decide to stop it like I did before?

I don't know.

If I agree to come with him, we'll travel for weeks to reach Gervanya or wherever the hell he came from. I'll try my darnest to bring his guy back from the living with the knowledge it was never really possible in the first place and then say "I'm sorry, there was nothing I could do" just like all the doctors and mages he probably asked before resorting to find me. I would just give him false hope and waste the time he could have used to mourn, move on and continue living life like a normal person. I didn't have that time, I didn't have the luxury to mourn, move on and live my life like a normal person. Agreeing to come with Antonio would take away all that from him and I don't want that. He's a bit frustrating but it would be plain cruel to take a choice that will affect his life more than it will affect mine.

It would be a stupid thing to do, but it's the only thing could ever do to repay him. After all, he's the only person who ever stood up for me for me, and not because I looked like a pathetic, helpless traveller.

He stood up because I'm me.

And then there's the logical solution to this god awful problem.

Leave, convince him finding me was a terrible idea, scoff at him for being stupid, just push him away, do something, anything that will change his mind about the situation.

It's harsh but it's quicker and easier for both parties. No false hope, no guilt. It'll just be another memory I'll store in my head, something I'll look back on while I'm eating breakfast in the morning. Grass green eyes, wild chocolate curls, scorching Grecian streets and a warm soothing fire under the cover of darkness.

I would be doing the world a favor if I took this path like I always have, if I remained as a wanted fugitive, living the rest of my life in hiding and not meddle in other people's lives.

Of course everything's easier said than done. I don't have the heart to tell him. My decision, my reasons and my apologies, I don't want to see the hurt in those eyes or the way they'll lose their luster, he wouldn't understand. But there's something else.

I'm afraid he'll try to change my mind and he'd succeed.

Then I'm going to have to relive the misery I've been through, only this time I'm not the main character in the fairytale anymore.

It comes to me as a surprise that those thoughts gave me a blink sleep, or that I ever slept in the first place because the next time I open my eyes, the smell of burnt firewood welcomes me to the waking world. It's colder and the sky is slightly lighter in a different hue. I catch sight of the last dying embers of the fire he lit last night, then my eyes drift to his unconscious figure, crumpled against the nearest tree. 

It's a hard decision, but perhaps it's a decision already made from the very beginning and I just didn't want to admit it.

I want to thank him for earlier without facing the consequences but I was and will always be a coward, and like all cowards do, we flee to escape the fallout of our choices, hide ourselves and bury our faces in shame.

I return his cape from my shoulders, which I assume he put on me while I was asleep, and drape it on his still sleeping figure, pull my scarf up to my nose and take one last look at him, before finally leaving.

At first it starts as a slow walk, trying to distract myself with the different scenery brought by the light of dawn. When that didn't work, I started to sprint, the blurry haze of lilac and dark tree branches deceitfully begging me to go back and change my mind. I hold firm to my decision and burst into a full run. The endless barrage of indescribable emotions come rolling down in an avalanche, obscuring my vision, sense of direction and time, to the point that all I know is that I am running, and I need to keep doing so or else I would fall and never get up.

Not looking around my surroundings, my foot gets snagged in a tree root and my legs suddenly feel like twigs snapping into two. I fall to the ground with a painful thud, rolling down a small ravine before stopping. Grass stick to my tear-stricken cheeks as the forest floor continue to prick me, wound me. I fcould hardly bring mys

'You're such a selfish prick'

The grass below me browns and crumbles to dust.

Just like my hopes of this ever becoming a memory I'll remember occasionally over breakfast.

For what is seems like eternity passing by, with swollen eyes and lifeless plant debris sticking on me from head to toe, I limp my way back to Grecis, hopefully to get my belongings back, if not, well to steal some, go home and forget all of this ever happened.

The seconds fly by in a sluggish pace. The sky continues to grow brighter and bluer, bringing the warmer air of morning with it. The sun is peeking from the blanket of clouds but brings no aid to my mood for there are still no signs of Grecis nor its dusted stone roads.  
paths nor concrete walls. Just trees, clouds and decaying grass trailing behind me.

I'm lost, hungry, tired, all in all probably fucked up.

Maybe I'm still dreaming under shade of the greener trees closer to home. Maybe Antonio wasn't even real, and I'm still on my way to Grecis.

Or maybe the soldiers did catch up to me and fed me something weird that makes you hallucinate.

But even that's just wishful thinking, everything that's happened so far is too vivid to be a dream or something my mind made up, I'd say it was vivid as the flames that engulfed my village. Everything feels real and warm until the pyre dies off and is reduces it all to nothing but ashes, blown by the wind into a place far away from your reach.

It's just funny how the fire last night reflected in his eyes so differently, he made it seem like it was something else.

Something beautiful.

I could feel my resolve slipping beneath my fingertips, slowly losing control over my physical abilities.

I fall yet again with an unceremonious thud, not that there was much distance from my position to the ground, I basically looked like I was playing tag with the forest with the way I try to walk and lean on trees to actually get somewhere. The formerly itchy grass feels no more different than my bed back home, my mind couldn't discern the difference anymore and even with the ounce of sleep I've been gracefully blessed with earlier, it felt like I had been awake for my whole lifetime, and my empty stomach is definitely not helping.

There's a soft unnatural rustle somewhere in the woods, almost like fabric brushing against the bushes. 

I get hit by a sense of deja vú, that or my senses are rapidly failing me.

The world gets obscured by my half-lidded eyes which seems to get heavier and heavier by the second, it blurs out into blobs of green and brown, then black.

The rustling gets closer and closer till it's replaced by a heavy sound literally an inch from my face.

Something smooth and slender caresses my cheek, then presses my wrist. It tries to make incoherent words that my mind is too fogged to comprehend.

My head wanders in an endless abyss, void of any emotion or thought.

It feels tranquil but also empty.

Awake but stuck in a perpetual slumber.

A flickering flame.

Wavering consciousness.

Light...

I slowly rise from the pain in my head and gut. Simultaneous instantiated hunger and throbbing migraine, as it seems, would be to blame. 

I couldn't help but let a groan escape from my parched throat. At first I thought Antonio had miraculously tracked me down and decided that he would revive his friend whether I liked it or not.

Only then I realize that I am nowhere near where we first camped. I lay on a small cot way over my size. My feet are dangling over the edge and the floor creaks with every single move I make.

The room is small and dim. It's probably sometime in the afternoon but with the windows are shut tight I can't be sure.

A small, quiet voice speaks up from the now opened door that camouflaged itself among the similar wooden walls.

The figure is short and slim with shoulder length hair that looked like it was hastily chopped off. I couldn't see any defining details about the person but I'm fairly sure that he or she is younger than me.

"I can hear you from the window, please do not be afraid, I won't hurt you"

"On the contrary, you should be afraid of me but uh... Thanks for the concern. You really should have just left me in the woods"

The figure giggles softly and moves toward the window where I'm standing and opens it. Unfiltered light gushes in the room and blinds me momentarily. It reveals the figure beside me to be a girl, probably no older than twelve with a turquoise ribbon tied to her short, light blonde hair. Her unfocused eyes bear no color other than a faint, milky green.

"Sorry the room was dark, I usually don't need the light but sometimes I forget other people aren't like me" she smiled meekly.

A quiet "Oh" escapes my mouth in realization.

She raises her hands near my face and asks hesitantly "May I?"

With all my jumbled sounds of protest and confusion I barely had any time to stop her hands from cupping my cheek. She slowly traces it all over my face gently like a newborn baby, perhaps it's her way to see but I was scared that I might accidentally disintegrate her soft, tender hands due to the unpredictable nature of the situation, thankfully I didn't.

The girl retracts her hands from my face and offers me tea from the tray she brought in earlier. "My name's Lili. I'm sorry to have startled you, I was just curious that's all....My brother rarely let's me 'see' any other people nowadays"

I take a sip of the drink, mumbling a reply "Lov- Lorenzo. I'm Lorenzo"

"You're not from around, are you? You sound slightly different from what I used to hear in the village."

"Oh- uh, is that so?"

"Mhm, you sound Idelian, are you Idelian Mr. Lorenzo?"

Am I? I ponder to myself, am I still associated with a nation that wants me dead?

Possibly.

"Yeah...you could say that" I respond, looking outside to see a quaint village teeming with people. Even a fool would know at a glance that this is not Grecis. The houses have low roofs instead of tall, solid tiled ones, there is no cobblestone path nor a clear path at all, just trimmed grass and dirt patches. The houses are just built far from each other with the shops and carts that are clearly selling merchandise and necessities clumped together with its own crowd surrounding it.

A shadow of dread lingers in my throat, I gulp nervously in an attempt to push it down. 

"Where are we Lili?"

"Oh, I'm sorry I should have said something sooner. You're in Lieves"

"Lieves? I've never heard of that before" I say to myself, unintentionally out loud.

"That's because we're not on the map Mr. Lorenzo, only large settlements and Kingdoms get recorded on maps.  
Travellers rarely pass by since the forest surrounding us tends to discourage people unfamiliar to the area"

I nod, I've never explored anywhere beyond what's in the maps so it make sense. She offered me to stay for the night but I refused, I had enough people caring for me for the past few days, I feel bad for them.

In a sense he reminded me of a certain curly haired stranger. They both have green eyes- well one of them had. Hers just happened to fade into a milky hue. They both initiated conversations and both are kind. Their company exuded homeliness I sorely lack in my own home. Lili speaks as if we have known each other for years and Antonio asks of me as if I have everything to give.

They both trust me.

And it hurts I suppose, to think that I can't reciprocate as much.

Eventually I have to leave, if Lieves is where she said it to be then I am nowhere near safe, nor is she or anyone in this quaint little town.

She insist I stay for dinner and I envy her sight for a second before taking a seat.

Maybe we'd believe all the good side of things more often if we couldn't see them.

Maybe Antonio was blind too, I smile to myself.

The air suddenly turns frigid as the unmistakable cold barrel of a gun presses against the back of my head. Short, strained breaths come from its wielder.

"Lili never turns on the lights, who are you?"

I've never gotten neck to neck with death so many times in the span of forty-two hours. I shouldn't have overstayed my welcome because this must be Lili's, doting brother.

A plate crashes in the other direction.

"Brother what are you doing?!" Lili exclaims.

"Stay back Lili-"

"That's my guest Vash, please let me explain-"

Now, I can't really understand anything or see 'Vash' from the way he's about to blow my brains out of my head with one unnecessary movement, but I can imagine his face filled with anger and confusion. 

Lili pleads for him to put down the gun

'Vash' barks out a response. His stoic eyes meet mine like lighting before he pushed me with the barrel of his gun outside the house. He switches to a language I can understand and steadily aims his weapon at point-blank range.

"I knew it...You're Vargas aren't you? Have you no shame necromancer? Taking advantage of a blind girl-"

"Vash! He is innocent! Stop accusing him of such things!" Lili's cries are drowned by the ringing of the gunshot Vash aimed an inch away from my ear.

"Answer me or I'll hand you to the Idelians"

I'm pretty sure whatever my answer will be that bullet would still be going straight to my forehead. 

The gunman finds my response, or lack thereof, unsatisfactory and slams his rifle on my right cheek, throwing me off a good distance away from where I was.

Pain blossoms in my face, the faint taste of iron lingers in my mouth as crimson liquid trickles down my chin. The patch of grass surrounding the spot I landed on browns and withers.

Knots twist in the deepest pits of my being.

It claws digging deep, starting flee from my restraints.

If only the world was blind.

Then their minds would see.

The silver barrel of the gun gleams in my clenched hand.

It rusts and falls into pieces by my feet.

Vash staggers and keeps his distance from me.

My legs tremble, I wipe the blood from my mouth. There's silence and his eyes meet mine.

I hate this.

Why must it always be fear?

Why must it always be hate?

"Leave me be and I will leave this place unscathed" I say in the most firm tone I could manage.

He twitches for a second, Lili takes a step back. Their eyes screamed dread.

Vash throws his broken weapon to the ground, arms raised in a surrendering fashion. Lili, confused, chokes back a dozen questions.

I could feel the air in my lungs again.

Neither of us break our gaze upon each other, I slowly limp backwards, retreating into the forest. I walked until the unattended light from the cottage was only a faint ember behind the trees.

My whole body is on fire.

It's been so long since I used my abilities intentionally. It was as terrible as I remembered, only less I suppose, since it wasn't human flesh this time.

Even though it was me who always inflicted damage, somehow it always feels like I get scorched along with them.

I stare at my hands under the dim light of the moon.

But of course those burns are always left unseen. After all those scars tend to hurt the most.

The ember behind the trees seems to move closer.

Familiar wild curls started to distinguish itself from the backdrop of low-lying leaves.

"Ah... found you again"

**Author's Note:**

> Hello and welcome to OLAD! I, apparently have a think for long titles and weird abbreviations for it. If you're a fan of BNHA and have read my other ongoing fic, ~~I am terribly sorry~~ thanks for checking this out! I promise I'll continue that once I get my creative juices flowing again. As or my Hetalia readers, thanks as well! This will be a relatively short story, a four-shot story I've been aching to get out of my head, so here you go.
> 
> I dedicate this work to Lluviadinoche (who is an amazing writer) plus they're hosting a spamano month right now on tumblr called 30daysoftomatolovers so check them both out! Thank you for being an inspiration for me and others in the fandom.
> 
> Leave a comment or kudos if you like! I will see you soon.


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